Movie Narcolepsy

We took the kids to see "Chipwrecked" this week. I have to admit I'm not quite sure how (SPOILER ALERT!) the cute rodents ended up on a deserted island. This is because I have a condition that renders me completely unable to not doze off approximately 25 minutes into the feature film.

Let's just say I've rarely seen a movie in its entirety since early 1999.

It all started in May of that year. I was in the first trimester of my first pregnancy and sick as anything you've ever seen. In between trying to work full-time and attempting to limit my throwing up to 4 times or so a day, I was a little exhausted.

My husband wanted to see the new Star Wars movie that was opening that weekend, so I braved the elements (concession stand smells and being crowded into movie theater seats) and settled in to view the show.

And that is where my memory ends. (Well, if you don't count that weird dinosaur looking guy with the extremely annoying voice and disturbing swagger.) I simply recall waking up toward the end of the movie feeling better than I had in weeks. At first I was slightly embarrassed but chalked it up to my body being tired because, according to "What to Expect When You're Expecting," I was doing the same kind of hard work that mountain climbers do. Except when mountain climbers get tired they just hang there for awhile and eat a Luna Bar. Pregnant women eat Rice Krispies, lose it, then resume the 40+ items on their to-do list.

Fast forward a decade or so.

After corraling kids and preparing for a movie outing and getting through the popcorn line for under $50.00 a girl is TIRED!

Combine that with a dark, just warm or cool enough theater, nap-inducing carbs and containment (sweet containment!) entertainment for at least 1 1/2 hours and you have the makings of dreamland for a mama.

Honestly, the last movie I remember staying completely awake for was "A-Team" and that was only because it was one of those dinner theater movies where you sit at a table in front of plates of food. If you try to nap there you only look foolish as you fall over into the tray in front of you. Even I have standards.

So, it's time for me to pop some corn, unwrap a KitKat and have one of my family members explain exactly how Jeannette Chipmunk ended up with a purple bikini and sarong that matched her glasses perfectly.